Yeah so, somehow this morning I woke up in a fog. I first realized it while sitting at my computer at work. My boss walked in and said "Hey!" and for a moment I had forgotten where I was. I looked up from my computer and didn't even realize how much time had gone by since I sat down. I was in a daze. Needless to say I have been clumsy and feeling mummy-like all day. This is a day that calls for the beach.
If I am going to be perfectly honest, I will say that I just seem to be at a crossroads. I have decided that I really do not like working for people. I want to be my own boss (who doesn't, really?) but I feel this with a deep, firey, irresistable passion. The problem is, I have no money. I have to pay rent, for a car.phone.water.electric.schoolloans.credit cards blah blah blah the list goes on! I am trying to get this business off the ground but who knows how long it could take? And I dont know how much longer I can walk around like a dummy-mummy at work without getting fired :) I have a job prospect, and I could make good money, but it's so not what I want. But it is what is smart.
At what point do you drop what is smart and jump into the unknown? If I wasnt buckled with fear, today would be that point for me. what if i fail?end up homeless on the street?cant pay my bills?and on and on and on.
These are the fears and thoughts I must sort out and overcome. I have a deep rooted insecurity - "oh I could never make it in my own business, who am i kidding!" or "what a joke! im just gonna lose interest and it will be another failed endeavor!"
Well on another note - this weekend was awesome. My lovely Aunt Ricki came to visit. This was the first time her and I really got some QT together. We had a girlie night on Friday and watched sex and the city 1 and 2 and ate ice cream. And Saturday, Flamingo park apparently had (an annual neighborhood) yardsale where people all over the hood put their good old junk out for sale! We did ourselves proud and got lots of goodies for the wedding.
We got some mason jars and some vintage vases, we got an awesome old window frame with mirrors in it (courtesy of the lovely mrs. julie tchividjian :)), we got some lace doileys... and I cant remember what else. All i know is that we literally shopped till we dropped! I love, love, love shopping for old junk and finding hidden treasures :) So hopefully there is more of this to come as we prepare and plan for our wedding.
So, much love to all.. and here's hoping your day is not as foggy as mine :) stay tuned for tomorrows vintage update :)
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