Friday: Cocoons

This week, all has been quiet.  No, I don't mean quiet in my life or in the world or in my office, or even at my house.  I mean quiet in my mind.  I have been laying low, being still, breathing, thinking, imagining. 

I have found that I go through these periods in my life.  They are off and on like a light switch.  I don't know what brings them about or what makes them go away... but they always seem to happen.  I wasn't even going to blog today, to keep up with my blog-less pattern I have been maintaining all week and with my quietness, but then it suddenly struck me - i figured out what was happening to me and I felt that I had to blog about it.

These periods that I am talking about are periods when I want to hibernate.  I dont really reach out to many people and I mostly feel like staying in.  My phone gets lost in my purse, next to my bed, and I dont think about it very much.  I am not constantly reaching for it. My creative side usually comes out more during these periods and I become very reflective. 

I have a habit of becoming angry at myself during these times.  Guilt also sets in.  I feel that I am not keeping up with my friends as much as I should.  Not calling my grandmom or aunt to say hello.  I look at other people being friendly and outgoing and think that I must be a mean grinch because I am not acting that way. 

What spurred this blog post was my facebook surfing.  I was just feeling that angry guilt with myself and admiring someone for how outgoing they were, when the word "cocoon" popped into my head.  I dont know why or where it came from, but it occurred to me that I am cocooning during these times.  These periods are not bad (although I will have to work on not being angry, guilty, or forcing myself out of these times), they are merely a time for self-reflection and a time to connect with who I really am again.  To go back to my roots and remember where I came from and what I am about.

When I emerge, I will be different.  It may not be noticeable to the human eye, or even to myself.  But I will come out more grown up and sharpened in some way.  I will be able to love more deeply than before and appreciate others more.  My light will shine brighter.  So there you have it folks, I am going through changes in my life and need to rest in my cocoon until I can re-emerge more polished than before. 

Once I come out of these periods, I constantly want to chat with people.  I am on the phone and meeting with people, and letting myself out into the world.  It is amazing how long I have been struggling with this part of me.  Now I can see it in a positive light.

Can anyone relate?

See you when I emerge... :)

Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encourage one another; and all the more, as you see the day drawing near.

Hebrews 10:23-25

xoxo Cori